I resolve… Hmmmm. How’s that going? Did you resolve? Did you get all fired up as the sounding of the midnight bell approached and did you rise to your feet and shout out a resolution for each of the twelve bongs? Did you then fall in a heap, tears of exhaustion, self-belief and hope flowing freely down your cheeks as you gripped your list of resolutions from last year in your hot hand and vowed to do better this time? Or did you think, ‘Oh yeah, I must make some resolutions.’
We’re a complex lot us humans. The more humans you know, the more complex we appear. One would imagine that getting older and knowing more and more people would bring with it an all-embracing knowledge of the depths and widths of human behaviour. Not so. Each new person merely brings a new behaviour not encountered before and it is surely a daily miracle that so many of us all over the world get up every day and interact with each other as well as we do. And while we are busy every other day of the year trying get on with each other and get through each day, New Year’s Eve is surely the day when we turn and face ourselves squarely and honestly and admit that we could do better.
Why do we do it? Well, it’s traditional and as with many traditions we have inherited, we have chosen not to throw it off. Apparently, it all started, (if you are looking for someone to blame) with the Romans; 153 BCE to be specific. Janus, a mythical god who gave his name to the first month of the Gregorian calendar, had two faces affording him the luxury (or burden) of being able to look back over past events and forward simultaneously. He didn’t know whether he was coming or going this god of gates, doors, doorways, beginnings and endings. It is said that Romans looked for forgiveness from their enemies and exchanged gifts before the beginning of the new year. One assumes that it was to Janus that they looked for forgiveness but these claims are difficult to verify. A new beginning seems to have brought about a desire for change and always, it would seem, change for the better.
Today also, we resolve to become better people; to lose weight, to give up bad habits, to make a greater contribution to our society, be a civilizing influence. It’s enough to make any Roman proud. So how are the people of Kilkenny dealing with the turn of the year? It’s been over a week so resolutions which have been toyed with are surely now copperfastened, watertight and unbreakable.
“Well, the same as last year,” says Breda from the city, with a sigh. “I resolved to de-clutter and lose a few pounds.” She is not giving anything away about how well she did with these resolutions during 2007 but the sigh says a lot.
“This is what I want this year to be about,” says Kayrin Connery, owner of Fléva restaurant. “I’m on holidays with my daughter, Bo and my family and I want to do more of this in the coming year. I want to spend more time with friends and family. I am not a big fan of a big list of New Year’s resolutions; it’s just more things to do on the ‘To Do’ list and then more Irish guilt of you don’t follow through,” she adds laughing. “Who needs more of that?”
Maeve Butler, public relations consultant and well-known co-ordinator of the Kilkenny Arts Festival, also resolved to spend more time with friends.
“I also aim to read more so it looks as if I’ll have to work less,” she laughs. “Finding time to see friends or just sit and read a book is difficult when you’re working. It’s good to take stock and have aims, workwise and personally. Ideally, we should have measurable goals rather than resolutions.”
This is a theme which pops up again and again when discussing New Year’s resolutions. The warning goes, ‘Do not bite off more than you can chew’. In other words, don’t resolve to lose three stone, quit smoking, cut out all sweet foods, run a marathon, write and publish a novel and then direct its screenplay and show it at Cannes, promote world peace, learn a language and learn to cook borsch. The phrase, ‘setting yourself up for failure’ also pops up again and again during this discussion. Maybe lose a pound a week, cut down on the cigarettes and sweet foods, walk swiftly round the park at least three times a week, start the novel, promote peace in your immediate circle, learn a few basic phrases in a number of languages so as you can speak to your neighbours and get by when you visit their countries and maybe master a delicious ratatouille.
“I want to learn off five songs I can pull out of the hat at singsongs,” says Maeve bravely. “I’m fed up being frozen with fear about singing in public and I think it might help if I knew some songs. Maybe I should start with one though rather than five.”
“Looking back on last year and thinking about the deaths of people I knew who were in their forties,” says Kayrin, “I feel I don’t want to take time and life for granted. I want next year to be more about enjoying being with family and friends and my little daughter and less about frantic doing. Maybe it’s a sign of old age,” she says laughing.
Well done to those who stepped up to the plate and made public their resolutions. Many were asked, some declined politely and with good reason and some did not reply. And before you holler about the lack of male resolutions in the above, suffice to say men were asked and answer came there none. Make of that what you will. And if you see Breda on her way to the recycling centre or Kayrin in the park with her daughter and friends, give them a wave and a smile. And if you’re at the same singsong as Maeve and she gathers her courage and launches into her newly learned ballad, join in heartily at the chorus.
